self doubt

by emo Pope

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about

recorded in st. john's and montreal for the 2016 NL RPM challenge

an assortment of both scrapped tracks and sample work/improvisation. hopefully u feel like ur laying on wet gravel in an empty city street at night while listening 2 this, if not some other picturesque grotesque feeling of disgust toward this album

instruments used: shit vocals, mediocre microkorg, bad kick/hats, stupid claves, dumb piano, lame juno 60 mod

credits

released March 1, 2016

thx 2..
-jonny may for sweet album art, u da bes
-josh for work on "sad lil bun" i luv u my yung pup
-sam for being the inspiration for "rose lemonade": didn't get to sample his "sometimes i talk on my tumblr about how i wanna die" quote so just pretend it's there being overdriven and delayed in part
-the jiffy cab hotline guy for just being himself
-vancouver boy for being much of the inspiration i needed in a form i didn't expect

tags

license

all rights reserved

about

emo Pope St. John'S, Newfoundland and Labrador

(the laugh lil wayne does in his songs)

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Track Name: wirth
(worth)
(could happen) x3
Track Name: perpetual mistrust
i wish no one knew anything about me
i wanna be a ghost when i grow up
i wish someone like you said things about me
life is a trade-off: we'll just lose it all
edifice in artifice, halcyons in halcions
many important people have died, so why am i alive
Track Name: search query: is my skepticism healthy
it's all inside my head x3
it's all a dream and i feel it encompassing
i dream of being calm, not thinking about
(overthinking)
self doubt, (instead) doubt of others and myself
and the life i lead
and it's all a dream, when will i go to sleep
(when i can think, and i can see)
self doubt, and it's self doubt
see no more 'til dawn
stay no more 'til dust
say no more 'til dawn
things that characterize me
these days
hello my name is stress
(how can i be at peace
when they're gone
i watched him die)
i said goodbye
Track Name: failing english
(if this plane should fall, i hope everyone else on it will be OK)
(cough)
(iPhone message tone)
(seatbelt off tone)
(subsequent clicks of passengers' seatbelts)
Track Name: ataraxy not rly
anything should happen, but it stays the same these days
anything could happen, but it will fade away
don't fade away from me, don't fade away
just want to make music, somehow the rest will fall in place
anything could happen, i don't wanna stay in this place
what are my values, who am i
what matters to me besides where i go before i die
talking to myself, talking to myself in compulsions
overwhelmed and engulfed in emotion, feeling like i'm someone else
shaking, draining
no help x2
how to explain what falls from rain
Track Name: rly real
where the rich repent
and the armour sheath
there is heaven scent
slicing what lies beneath
the welkin’s firmament
our velvet-sheening leaves
and our drupes resplendent
the selasian saffrol laurel
may mimic entactogenics
through the zygomorphic mirror
a myna severs several passerine starlings
yet ethereal empathogenic empyrean entity
are wont to such filaments
and won’t do much diligence
to fall: to step down for just a moment
and see the glaucous somber leaflets
as its silken veils that may exist
as but a nascent archaic cryptogram
as put a scent to ash like cryptogam
as let the cyme lash and coax by ribboning flame
hepialids resting on erythronium call by ghost of dawn
to you, whatever you may be to theistic corporeals
will you, just as they, be gone?
but you, what they say, if not wrong is that you’re realistic or, or real?
Track Name: non-demon eye
everything you see, it's all a trade-off
you could lose it all: but you go down fighting
(they're gonna die anyway)
なんでですか
なんでもない
see, there's only so much you can say
when you die, when you flail your arms
or when you go on fighting, don't panic
Track Name: rose lemonade
haaaaaaaliday inn x753489
forty eight buckmaster circle bys x2
haaaaliday x7483732